I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
