Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize