Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
