This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You need Xanax blowdarts
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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