In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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