you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
