Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
