Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
