I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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