When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
