can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
