I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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