cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
