his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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