i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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