i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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