My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
