There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
