Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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