Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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