NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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