I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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