It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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