I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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