hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
