I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
