Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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