Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
