And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
