What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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