i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
