If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
