so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
