Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
