apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
