at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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