Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
