what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
