You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
