Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
