trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
