Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
