So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
