Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
