its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
