I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
