Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
