All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
