I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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