We're like a lot better than the average bears
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
