Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
