about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
