what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
