i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
