I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
