I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
