I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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