sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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