using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
