You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
