I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
