He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize