I want to walk on stilts...naked
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
